


Earless

by Chasethemorning



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-08-04
Packaged: 2018-09-27 08:10:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9984536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chasethemorning/pseuds/Chasethemorning
Summary: Budapest left his eardrums ruptured. After a few procedures he was shipped back home and fitted for hearing aides to help with maybe temporary deafness. Nat takes the kids, and Hawkeye's youngest's anxiety disorder becomes apparent and problematic.





	1. Chapter 1

 She hid behind her mother, holding her hand, sticking close to her denim covered leg. Everything was white and bright and loud, beeping and people moving around. Cooper was ahead of them, hopping the cracks in the tile floor but Lila couldn't be bothered to play the game. She was scared. And little. And people were rushing around the crowded hospital with purpose. She spotted Auntie Nat, the red hair unmistakable in such a drab place, and finally let go of her mom to run to the other woman. Her hair smelled like fire and dust and her father when he'd return from missions. Lila hid her face in it, slid her hands into it. 

 

Natasha looked over at mom and hugged her with her free arm and Lila knew something was really wrong with Daddy at that point because Aunt Nat didn't like hugging big people, only little people. She felt the redhead squeeze her closer a moment. "She's shaking." 

 

"I think she knows," she heard her mom answer. "Can I... before..."

 

"Absolutely," Auntie Nat stepped away from the door. "Hey, Coop," she said gently. Lila watched her ruffle Cooper's hair. "Let's get you two something to snack on while mommy and daddy talk a minute, okay? I'm pretty sure that was a long drive huh?"

 

Cooper got really happy and did a little dance. Lila watched him and felt like she should laugh, but she just couldn't. She clung to Aunt Nat instead, inhaling the acidic scents that came with work and closing her hazel eyes. She burried her freckled nose farther in. And Auntie Nat was moving. 

 

Nothing in the cafeteria looked good. Even the cake. Auntie Nat was trying hard to get her to pick something but she wasn't hungry. Just shaky. And sleepy. They sat at a table so Coop could eat and he slurped his juice and danced after every fry. Aunt Nat wasn't eating either. She looked up at her from her chair across the table and played with her juice bottle, knocking condensation onto the flat surface. 

 

Coop pushed her. But she didn't fight back. She just stared up at him. Nat's lips curled a bit downward and Lila looked away. She stared at a nurse who started to make faces at her after a moment then decided it was safest to look into her lap for now.

 

Coop was munching chocolate cake when Lila got up and went to Nat's side, slipping into her lap easily and burrying her face again. She gave a deep sigh. 

 

Nat rubbed her back. She could hear Cooper's triumphant yumms, but didn't react to them. Lila was still, though. Not shaking. Barely taking a breath. 

 

Coop snorted. "She's such a baby. She fell asleep."

 

Lila sat up, staring at him again. She shook her head no. "Can I see Daddy now? " she asked quietly.

 

Nat nodded. "Yea, let's go. He's been asking for you both," she said. 

 

Lila hopped up and took one of Nat's hands, watching Coop trash his tray. She followed her down hallways that never seemed to end to the elevator, where Cooper announced he needed to push all the buttons. Lila let him. She didn't care about buttons. She just wanted to see her dad.

 

Down the halls again and to a door. Nat knocked. And it opened. Mom looked sad, her eyes were red, like she'd been crying. And there was dad, laying under the white blankets, his eyes red too. Lila let go of Aunt Nat and hoisted herself onto the bed, careful not to hurt him. She crawled up the length while mom told her to get down.

 

"Laura, she's okay," her dad said, but his words sounded different. He reached over to a table and put something off of it into his ear canal and Lila froze a moment, staring. 

 

"Daddy... they didn't take your ears?" She said, rather quietly.

 

The adults laughed. Then he said "No honey, just hurt them. It's just harder to hear now." 

 

She finished crawling up and laid beside him, shaking a bit again. She nestled in close feeling him hold her. Then she looked at mom, then the diaper bag. "Mommy... I put Mr. Honey in there. Can you give him to Daddy?"

 

Laura looked puzzled and opened the bag. And there was the ragged old teddy bear that Lila slept with every night . "Lila, baby... how are you going to sleep if Mr. Honey is here with Daddy?" Coop was demanding his cars from the bag now.

 

"It'll be okay. Daddy's sick. He needs him more," she answered. She reached over and pulled the bear into bed with them, looking up at her dad. Tears were sliding down his cheeks. She tilted her head. "It's okay, Daddy. Really. It's going to be okay. I'll stay with you if you're scared," she said softly, wiping his tears away with her hand, shifting closer to him.

 

Clint scooped her up onto him and held her. And she stopped shaking. And her breathing slowed again. She nuzzled into him, but he smelled like the hospital. She felt his hand rub her back in slow circles and her eyes grew heavy. The nightmares had kept her up most nights this week, and suddenly she felt the tiredness. Her body sagged on top of him after a few minutes, and she couldn't fight it any longer. 

 

She woke up being moved. Her fist was bawled in her Dad's shirt, and she gripped harder, letting out a loud cry. "Shhhh, Lila... we've got to go now," said Aunt Nat. "Visiting hours are over and Mommy's going to sleep over with Daddy. You and Coop are coming to stay the night with me."

 

"No!" She yelled. Feeling the tears slip down. "No. I don't want to leave Daddy. No. Dad... daddy. Please?" She breathed, heaving sobs.

 

"Baby girl, they won't let you stay," he said softly, wiping her face. Nat had sat her back down. "They won't let you stay but Auntie Nat will bring you back first thing in the morning. I promise." 

 

She nodded, her lower lip quivering and hugged into him again. "Daddy... please... I'll be good. I'll promise anyone who I have to. Please don't make me leave."

 

"Baby, they won't let you stay. You're too little," he cooed. "Shhhh, it's okay. It's okay. I'll see you tomorrow bright and early. I promise."

 

"Please don't make me go," she whimpered defeatedly. 

 

Clint rubbed her back, kissing her forhead then her nose. He ran a hand through her pigtails. "Baby, I didn't make the rules," he said quietly. "I promise I'm not leaving again for a little while. I'm going to be with you very soon, okay? Just go with Aunt Nat and sleep tonight," he stroked her cheek. 

 

Lila grabbed his hand. "But in all my dreams you go to sleep and don't wake back up," she cried, starting to sob again. "Promise you'll wake up," she cried, "promise!" She yelled as Nat touched her again.

 

"I promise, Lila. I promise I'll wake up. I'll be with Mr. Honey baby. He'll keep me safe." Clint slowly pried her other hand open. "You have to go now. I love you, sweetheart."

 

Aunt Nat scooped her up. And she fought a moment, crying and reaching back out for him. Laura was crying. Cooper followed behind wordlessly. Nat gave a wave to Clint and his wife, their kids in tow abd bag on her hip. She shhhhed Lila all the way to the car.

 

Cooper started snoring before they even left the parking garage. Nat was looking at her in the back seat. Lila was still crying, but silently now.

 

"You have a lot of nightmares about Daddy?" Natasha asked, raising a brow.

 

Lila nodded. She stared out the window. "He dies." 

 

That was something strange to hear from a four year old. But Lila always did wake up crying in the middle of the night from the time she met her.  

 

"He dies and doesn't come back, " she said quietly. 

 

Natasha swallowed. Sobering words from someone not yet in grade school. She looked down.  "Will it make you feel better to sleep with me tonight?"

 

Lila nodded and looked back out the window.


	2. Dear Diary pt I

Dear Diary,

 

So, my counselor said to do this. I'm Lila. I'm 6. I had a nightmare tonight. And last night. And the night before. My dad has been gone for 3 weeks now. 

 

In my dream someone hung him. I don't see it happen but I walk up to the flag pole and he's hung from it. Right next to an American Flag. Birds are pecking him.

 

I hate my dreams. They gave mom pills for me. Am I crazy?

 

-always, Lila

 

 


	3. Medusa

"Your hair looks like snakes," Cooper whispered cruelly from the third row in the Explorer. "Like Medusa. Don't look at Nate. You're going to turn him to stone." 

 

Lila effectively ignored him. The medicine made it easier to tune him out. Counseling had prescribed them when things had gotten worse when dad left on an extended mission after the alien invasion he fought in. She took a deep breath, staring out the window, chestnut brown curls hanging down her back. Her red, white, and blue bow was perched on top of her head. Her scalp itched from all the hairspray and heat but she tried hard not to scratch.

 

"Medusa head! Medusa head!" crowed Cooper, swatting at her hair.

 

"COOPER! " yelled Laura. "One more time and I will pull over. I swear. Leave your sister alone."

 

Cooper sighed and threw himself back. "Why do I have to come to her dumb competitions? They're stupid..." he rolled his eyes with a huff. "Why can't she play a real sport?"

 

Laura glared into the rear view. "I mean it. I will pull over," she said sternly.

 

Lila say forward more, adjusting her socks in her white Nikes. She chewed her lower lip silently, going over the rountine in her head. It was all she could do right now. She exhaled deeply.

 

Nate giggled at her from his rear facing seat beside her. Laura looked back, with a small smile. "Are you okay, Lila?" She asked quietly.

 

Lila nodded. "Yea, mommy. I'm fine." She swallowed thickly. 

 

"You're going to be fantastic. I know it," her mom cooed. "You guys took first last Comp. This shouldn't be too much harder."

 

Lila nodded. "I know. Just... nervous."

 

Laura sighed. She pulled into the University parking lot, and found a spot. Taking Nate's heavy seat in hand, she gave a little grunt. Cooper raced out of the car, Lila slightly behind with her cheer bag and Gatorade, zig zagging across the lot. 

\---

 

They got half an hour of warm up time. Practicing the build mostly during that time put Lila on edge. They were young for building. It put them in another type of bind. At 9 and 10 some of them were ready to build. Some of them had been together since 4 and 5, like Lila, and they knew each other well enough to know how to accomplish this. But the new girls weren't so good at it.

 

Lila's stunt group had one newer girl. She was nice enough, but Elizabeth also didn't know how to read Lila like Megan and Sara did. So she was quite nervous that her right spot was so inexperienced. It made her pull to the left during stunts, which created imbalance in her flying. 

 

Before she knew it they were hitting the mat. She came out with a bang, the whole squad bouncing and leaping into position, checking for how springy the red platform was. And then the soundtrack started.

 

The tumbling part of their routine consisted mainly of her and another veteran Patriot, Amanda. The squad as a whole cartwheeled toward the edges of the mat. Then every other girl managed a back walk over betweem the cartwheels. And then she and Amanda timed their tumbles to a science to barely miss in the middle. Cartwheel, front walkover, roundoff, back handspring, back tuck, back tuck, roundoff, front tuck. Flawlessly their bodies spun through the air in perfect time, keeping pace to the drum beat behind the loud pop music.

 

Back in their lines, the stunt groups started to form after the short dance to the song. Lila was helped up by the spotters and her base, tossed lightly by one shoe. Barrel roll. Lib. Barrel Roll. Cupie. Down. She slipped out of their hold as the squad shifted closer together and she was up again. Front and center. And Elizabeth looked blank. The 3 flyers joined hands, and she was shifted up farther. Dropping their hands she was supposed to go into a Scorpion pose, which she did so easily in her group from last year. She stretched her leg behind her. Toe in hand, her other leg straight but Elizabeth readjusted. 

 

She fell. Sara tried to recover her, basing from the back, but it was too much. She landed hard on the mat, wrist folded in half beneath her with a sickening crack. Her knee made a sick popping noise as she bent to recover the poise for the rest of the squad, the pain already spreading across her in rough waves. She couldn't move her fingers, but it didn't matter. There was only the cheer left and she was going to finish as best as she could. 

 

The jumps were torture. Each time she left the ground her knee threatened to quit with loud screams of pain. And each yell let her only release so much. But it was over after a few more second. And she limped off the mat, fighting the tears that glazed her eyes. It wasn't until then that anyone realized she wasn't okay. 

 

"LILA!" yelped Cooper, hopping over the gates and toward his little sister limping off the mat as someone yelled at him that he wasn't allowed. 

 

Laura stood frozen, Clint on skype. "Laura.... Laura is she okay?" he asked, breathing heavily. "Laura... is Lila..."

 

Cooper grabbed her up in his arms, almost four times her size from football. He cradled her like a baby and she burried her nose into his chest. Her coach was following them as he took her toward their mother. 

 

"Clint... I'll..." Laura hung up the call, Nate's seat still in hand, heading toward Coop and her daughter. She and the coach caught them at the same time.

 

"Lila... let me see, where does it hurt," asked her coach gently. She stroked her arm and Lila let out a sharp cry. "Barton... your wrist... shit... that's a... MEDIC," bellowed out the coach, racing off.

 

Lila pulled her arm into her chest closer, the tears still threatening but not falling, silent, trying to breath. Sara raced over. She stroked through the hairspray. "Hey Coop," said the blonde. "Put her down. She needs a splint." She was holding a first aid kit.

 

Laura looked positively stunned. "Lila... where else?" She started to sob after a moment, catching glimpse of her daughter's fingers. They looked like sausages. Black and blue. She then spotted her knee. "Oh my gosh," she said, shifting Lila's shin. 

 

Lila sat up straight from Cooper's lap on the ground with a loud hiss, tears silently escaping her eyes. She felt her breath get caught in her throat. "I'm okay, Nate, I promise," she choked as the baby let out a loud wail. "It's okay. Right, Coop?" 

 

"It's not okay, Lila. Why the fuck did you keep cheering? What's wrong with you? " he growled.

 

"I had to finish or we'd get disqualified." She looked over at Sara. "How did we do? I'm so sorry. Elizabeth readjusted and I started to lean left and lost my balance."

 

Sara looked her over. "You're amazingly messed up," she snorted. "I heard Rose say we're mostly 10s, one 9 and one 8 because the rest of the builds and stunts were gold. And you locked in before you fell. But your wrist is broken and your knee... looks... like a basketball. So I'm more worried about..."

 

The EMTs were headed over with the coach. Lila grabbed Sara. "Text me and let me know. I'll refuse surgery until I know... so I'll be awake..."

 

\---

 

After the X-Rays, the IV line, the morphine making her sick and break out in a hot rash across her hole body, then the new pain medication in place, she stared at her phone in her left hand, waiting. Mom had left to meet one of Cooper's friend's moms in the waiting room to hand over the baby and her older brother. She sat up when her phone dinged with a wince and looked at the screen.

 

"YES! YES! YES!" she yelped, dancing slightly in the bed at the sight of the first place trophy. 

 

"You should be laying down, you know..." came a familiar voice as the door opened. 

 

"Auntie Nat?" Lila blinked, trying to squirm up more to see her. "Oh, shit. Am I hallucinating?" She asked, slurring a bit.

 

"No. It's me," Natasha said gently, sitting on the edge of the bed. She gave her a grin before pulling a teddy bear dressed in a cheer costume out of the brightly colored Get Well bag on her lap. She handed out out carefully to her left hand, tilting her head. "I saw the video. You're a trooper."

 

"Thank you so much for the bear," Lila cuddled into it, her eyes tearing up gently again as the pain started to break through. "We got first," she said, with a sniffle. 

 

"Congratulations," Natasha said. She leaned down and stroked what she could of Lila's hair. "How'd you get to be so brave?" she asked.

 

"I'm not," Lila answered.

 

"You sure are, peanut," came her father's voice. 

 

Every hair on her body stood on end and she forced herself up, even using the broken wrist with a strangled sob. He came into view and she almost tried to get out of the bed. Nat pressed her back down before going to the chair across the room. "Daddy?" she smiled up at him, still tearing up.

 

"Sssshhhh, calm down," he said softly. He pressed his hand gently to her chest. "Lay back. Stop trying to use that wrist. You're going to make it worse," he said, perching on the edge of her bed. "I never saw Cooper look that scared before," he said, tilting his head.

 

She nodded. "It hurts," she whimpered, finally cutting the act. "Are they going to have to do surgery?" She asked, meeting his eyes. 

 

"Were you... being strong for..." Clint looked down at her confused.

 

"For mommy. She's stressed out enough..." she said, feeling the tears roll silently down now. "How bad is it?"

 

"You need surgery. Pins put in," he looked away. "Luckily for you, we've got friends in high places... and he's willing to give the hospital some materials so you heal faster," he said quietly, stroking her forhead. "As long as they send him the files."

 

Lila gave a long struggled breath. "It hurts so bad. I told them Elizabeth was a bad spotter. She readjusts at the wrong times," she sniffled. "It hurts through the medicine. And they gave me morphine first and I had a bad reaction and it still itches," she blinked up, tears falling off her lashes. 

 

"I know, baby, I know," he whispered, getting up and going to the other side of her bed. Her knee was relocated and wrapped on this side. He curled in behind her and held her close. "Shhhhh." Lila started to shake a little and tense at the pain. Clint reached up and pressed the medicine button for her. Slowly it started to drip into her IV again. "It's okay... I'm right here... close your eyes... try to sleep a little." He kissed her cheek and let the hairspray get stuck to his cheek. 


	4. Ambidextrous

With Clint in and out of retirement, training the new recruits at the new compound, he was able to take a few weeks to help out after surgery without threatening to disembowel anyone with an arrow. The cast was purple. And her knee brace was too. Being that that was the last comp of winter session, she had until August to recover. School was another thing entirely. 

 

"Dad... I'll be fine," she argued.

 

"Peanut, the doctor wants you to rest your wrist. How are you supposed to do your work?" he asked, hands on either side of her on the exam table. "Home schooling won't be so bad. Mom can write for you so you can get better faster..."

 

"Give me a pen and paper..." she said. 

 

"Lila...." Clint sighed.

 

"Let me show you..." she whined. 

 

Clint closed his eyes with another exasperated sigh. "Okay, okay..." He humored her. Taking a piece off the printer, a hardbacked children's book from the counter and a pen, he sat the things on her lap. He tilted his head. "What do you have to show me?"

 

She picked up the pen with her left hand, bracing the paper with her casted wrist. Her fingers were only a little swollen now and Tony's help had sped the healing process and eliminated any chance of scarring. Luckily he'd been at the compound that day. And then she put the pen to paper and started to write random words. She filled the paper, then handed it to him.

 

Clint looked massively confused. "You're right handed... but this looks..." he dropped the paper down by his hip. "You're ambidextrous..." he breathed. 

 

Lila nodded. Her writing looked just about the same as with her dominant hand. She narrowed her eyes. "Are you okay, dad? "

 

Clint walked over to the window and opened it, sticking his head out of it like a dog. He was breathing heavy, his stomach turning. "Yea, peanut. I'm good. Show the doctor when he comes back..." he swallowed hard. He was ambidextrous. And the way the counselor described her sensory input and processing last week when they finally spoke paired with this made his chest clench. 'Please, don't let her be like me. Please, let her live a normal life...' he half prayed. Paired with her apparent pain tolerance, her agility, her flexibility and acrobatics and... she'd be a target for either side to obtain. 

 

"Am I a freak, dad?" She whispered in hush, looking down at her shoes. She held the pen firmly in her hand.

 

"No. No. No," He blinked, taking a deep breath, then crossing the room. "I can do it too, wanna see?"

 

She nodded with a smile, meeting his eyes. 

 

Clint wrote with both hands to show he wasn't tricking her. He looked up. "You're like me, that's all," he said softly. He ran his fingers through her hair.

 

"I hear the doctor coming," she said softly, the door opening a few moments later. 


	5. Torn Seams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Age 14.

Laura Barton was falling apart at the seams and it was so obvious that even Nate questioned her as to if she was okay. Cooper was too busy entertaining himself to express that it bothered him. Sometimes Lila could smell alcohol on him when he came home. She knew deep down he was medicating the feelings, but it didn't offer much relief to the fact he was completely useless like their mother.

 

And the fights. Over the phone. Sometimes calls with their father were bitter sweet. Loving words and promises and I miss yous and tears. But sometimes Laura was angry with him. Sometimes she'd scream and yell into the reciever that she wanted a divorce, especially when she thought they weren't listening. This night was one of those nights.

 

"Yea, well, we have needed you too. All this time, Clint. How could you? You promised!"

 

"Well I don't want to be here anymore. I don't care! You can't say you love us. I put everyone before myself and I'm SICK OF IT."

 

"Yea. Sick of it. I'm leaving. No. There's no way you love me like I love you. Three months, Clint. Three months and you were supposed to be back! Ha. I'm practically a single mother already!"

 

"Oh yea, and Lila and all her issues you caused and now Nate's having nightmares and you can't even pretend to care!"

 

Lila laid in bed, door cracked, listening. She hugged her blanket close and took a deep breath. She was 14 now. And as she got older, the insomnia grew worse. She stared into the darkness, her chest gently expanding and contracting, and watched as the stream of light filtering in from the hallway nightlight grew wider and wider. Her mom's voice grew louder.

 

"You'll never see them again. They're mine. My kids. You barely know them..."

 

"Lila?" came a little whimper. She didn't need to roll over to see Nate's quivering lip or full to the brim eyes. But she rolled anyhow and lifted her blankets like an invite. "Why's mommy being so loud?"

 

Lila swallowed, her mouth dry from the medication to try to lull her to sleep. "She's just angry, Nate. It's okay. She'll calm down," she answered very politically. 

 

"She told Daddy she's leaving him and taking us. I don't want to leave, " he burried his face into his older sister's shoulder. "I like it here. I'll miss our goat."

 

Six year old concerns were different than what you'd imagine. She clutched Nate closer. "Shhhh. It's okay, buddy. I'm sure that everything will be alright. Mom and dad will make nice and stuff won't change. You'll see."

 

"But Coop said-"

 

"Don't listen to Cooper." Lila bit her lower lip. She'd fought with Coop recently when he told their mom she should divorce their dad and find someone who gave a ish about her. She overheard. It turned physical. She got the best of him easily even being a third of his size.

 

"But he-"

 

"He's wrong, Nate. He's confused. That's all," Lila said. She pulled the little boy closer, cuddling him into her body and stroking his back. "Just close your eyes. I've got you."

 

Laura didn't wake up the next morning so Lila packed three lunches and made breakfast. She woke Nate up and got him dressed and ready, got herself ready, and Cooper took them to school and daycare. Laura barely left her room for weeks, actually, after that. Lila took care of Nate, cooking, cleaning and split the farm work with Cooper. 

 

To blow off steam, while Cooper was with his friends and Nate and Laura were asleep, Lila would go put to the barn where she had stashed Coop's old archery stuff. He'd given up learning after the first few weeks, but his loss had been Lila's gain for over a year now. As soon as her wrist was healed and she'd regained some of her strength and movement in it, she had started coming out to this barn to learn. Truth be told, she was rather good at it. 

 

She set up all her targets and notched an arrow carefully, tilting her head. But then she heard the noise of wheels on dirt road, a lifted truck. Tuning it out, she drew and loosed the first arrow. Then another. Practice tips sank deep into hay bales. The truck kept coming. It wasn't Cooper's. His had a distinct sound she recognized. 

 

She loosed another and another, and as the truck grew closer she unscrewed one tip for a razor sharp head and stalked out of the barn in the shadows.

 

The truck stopped. And she slipped quickly yet steathily behind it, slinking around the bed to the driver's side door, leaving five feet between herself and the driver's back as he hopped out. 

 

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" she growled. 

 

Clint froze, slowly turning to look down the length of his daughter's arrow, jaw dropped. "Lila?" he said softly. 

 

Her aim faltered and she relaxed, taking a deep breath, lip quivering, knees buckling, but remained silent.

 

"Lila. It's me. What're you doing out here? It's like... two in the morning. You're supposed to be in by 9 at the latest..." Clint narrowed his eyes.

 

Lila swallowed thickly and headed back into the barn without comment. Her stomach started to cramp, her heart beat started to echo in her ears, and every hair stood on end. She stalked over and loosed an arrow into the target before grabbing another.

 

"Young lady! I know you heard me..." he said sternly. 

 

"You were supposed to be home 9 months ago. Where were you?" She asked, staring at him a moment before letting an arrow fly without looking in the direction at all. It hit dead center.

 

Lucky shot, thought Clint. "I had to work, Lila." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

 

"Sorry?" She blinked. And she loosed another. "Mom fell to pieces weeks ago. Maybe months. I can't keep time. Cooper and I have been taking care of Nate and the house and the farm and going to school. Wish I could just... go to work," she glared, letting another soar.

 

That's 3. In a cluster. In the center of the target. "Watch your attitude, Lila. You know it's not like that."

 

"It sure feels like that," she snapped, eyes watering. Another arrow flew into the cluster without her looking this time. 

 

"Put the bow down and come here," he said, voice soft, crouching down in the hay, examining her form. 

 

"No." 

 

"Lila. Come here, kiddo. I know you're upset..." Clint started, inching closer.

 

"Upset? Upset? Listening to you two fight on the phone every three days about splitting up and who caused my nightmares and adhd and anxiety and who caused Cooper's alcohol problem and who was never going to see us again? You think I'm upset?" Lila glowered at him. Each word she unleashed next had an arrow flying after it without breaking eye contact with her father, "Dad. I'm. Pissed. Off."

 

Clint stood up and watched her in amazement. There was a tight cluster in the middle red of the hay. "Who taught you? " he asked quietly. "Lila. You didn't even look that time. Do you always hit the middle? "

 

Lila blinked up at him. "I almost always do. I taught myself, " she answered with a shrug. "It's no big deal."

 

"Lila. Put the bow down... come here." Clint blinked at her, dread slowly creeping in where astonishment had originally been. She was just like him. And that wasn't okay. He swallowed down bile that started to edge up and watched her.

 

Slowly tears started to streak down her face. Her eyes had been full and hot for too long. It was silent sobbing, no noise escaped her. She lowered her weapon and felt her head start to get spinny, like when she was on the merry go round at the park a decade ago and Clint spun her. She inched toward him after laying it down gently, her blood vibrating in her veins, her brain trembling.

 

Clint met her with a few quick strides and gently wrapped her in close, sitting on a pile of hay. He squeezed gently, rubbing her back, smelling her hair, feeling her heat against him. She was so precious and he'd waited so long to be close to his family again. "Lila... it's okay. Let it out," he said softly. His shirt was already wet from her eyes.

 

"Daddy..." she sniffled, feeling the tears flood down her face, through his cotton shirt, her body now shaking just like her capillaries had been. "I missed you," she whimpered.

 

"It's okay. I'm here now." He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. "I'm here now. You've been so strong for so long. I get why you're angry with me. Let's go inside and talk though, okay?" he said in a hushed voice. 

 

Lila nodded against his chest and slowly got up. Her entire body felt heavy, and her muscles were like jello. She marched up onto the porch and into the storm door, hugging her hips. Once inside, she started to pace, tightening her arms. Her lungs were on fire, her heart loud in her ears, blood roaring into her head. 

 

Full blown anxiety attack.

 

Clint watched her, plopping onto his chair. "Breathe, honey. Breathe through it. I'll breathe with you. In...." he took an exaggerated breath. "And out..." he sighed. "In," he instructed. "Out..."

 

But she started to wheeze and then to cough, choking on nothing. Lila went to the closet, digging in her jacket pocket, tugging out an orange pill bottle. It rattled between her fingers like splinters of bone in her ribs. Sharp pains filled her lungs.

 

"Lila. Let me," he said quietly, crossing the room and unscrewing the top. Her fingers were freezing. He took the hand that didn't have a pill in it and gently massaged between his palms. "Shhhhh. Need water?"

 

She'd already swallowed. She winced at his touch. "Stop. It hurts," she managed, tugging away from him. "Sensory overload." The tears still clung on her cheeks.

 

"Was that irritability a symptom?" He asked gently, backing up a few feet, knowing he was crowding her. "Is that a new pill?" Clint watched his daughter worriedly, guilt welling in his chest. It was his fault she wasn't normal. 

 

"I don't know," she said softly, sliding her back down the door. She hugged herself again, thin arms clutching, fingers turning white in their grip on her sides. "Yes. It's new. I hate it. It makes me feel..." she swallowed and took a deep breath, "disconnected. Like I'm not in my body." She closed her eyes. "But it's better than panic," Lila could slowly feel the effects start.

 

"Is it too strong? Did mommy call the doctor?" Clint watched her worriedly as her body slowly started to unclench before his eyes. 

 

"Mom hasn't left her room in weeks. She hasn't called the doctor," Lila slowly blinked up at him and her legs slumped, her fingers loosening on her pants. 

 

Clint took a deep breath and sucked his cheeks in. "You weren't exaggerating that? " he asked.

 

Lila shook her head no lazily. Lethargically she stood up, stumbling a bit, and leaning against his larger frame for support. "I'm sorry I was out there... I haven't slept in a few days. And I'm afraid cleaning will wake Nate," she said softly.

 

"I get it," Clint answered. "But it's dangerous to be out so late and it's a rule to keep you safe," he said gently. He draped an arm around her and rubbed her back. "Why's Cooper's truck gone?"

 

"He's out with his friends," Lila slurred. She felt her eyes sink shut.

 

Clint caught her as she went to dead weight beside him and picked her up. He carried her to his chair and sat with her on his lap, trying to warm her hands again worriedly and assess if she was really knocked out. 

 

"Are you really getting a divorce?" she slurred after a moment, burying her face into his chest.

 

"No, baby. At least not willingly on my end," he said softly. "I love mom and I love our family. That's part of why I do what I do. To keep you all safe."

 

Lila suddenly gripped his shirt in her fist and opened her eyes. "Promise me if you do you'll take me with you," she asked, intensely.

 

"Lila... I can't-"

 

"Promise." Lila demanded, blinking. Her eyes were heavy again.

 

"Lila... we're not going to-"

 

"Promise!" She said louder, frowning up at him.

 

"I promise. I promise," Clint Said gently. "I promise. But mommy and I are going to be fine,  okay? Don't worry your little head. Mommy just had to be strong too long," he assured her, pulling her in and rocking her gently with him.

 

"I love you," she said barely above a whisper before falling asleep in his arms like that. 

 


	6. Initiative -- Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revised version of a fic I previously wrote for this story. :)

"Move out of my way," she hissed, with an unamused look. "Coop, I'm serious. I don't want to hurt you."

 

Cooper was 18 now, graduating high school. The height difference between them was profound. She looked up a good foot to meet his eyes, which were slightly glazed over from delving into the liquor cabinet when no one was looking. It was a new found hobby of his, drinking alone.

 

 The white water rafting trip was supposed to be a celebration of sorts for Coop, since he was going to college on a full football scholarship. When it was canceled for their father to go help Cap, whatever respect Cooper had built for their father in his time of keeping his word and coming home everyday the last 2 years evaporated. And when a week passed and he hadn't contacted their mother and she was worried quite literally sick, Coop started to urge her to leave again. To divorce. He told her they could get an apartment off campus and tag team Nate and Lila. Lila wasn't having it.

 

"What're you going to do? Shoot me?" he snorted. "That only works with distance, Lila. Go back to bed. Mom doesn't need to worry about you, too." 

 

Lila ducked under his arm, and he caught her bag, spinning her around. He was big, stocky, a line backer on the high school team. She was a cheerleader, agile... and she quickly met his strong cheek bone with a high kick, hopping into the air. All of her weight behind her foot dropped him to the ground, and she landed with one leg outstretched, a move Aunt Nat taught her. She watched to be sure he was down, stunned, then headed out.

 

Rushing down the hall, down the stairs, out the front door, she was stealthy and lucky that he couldn't catch her. She started off toward the road where she'd already moved the car earlier in the day, hopped in and turned the ignition. Headlights still off in the dark, she didn't need them. Lila had all of Clint's gifts. She knew every turn in every road onto the main street. It was how she knew where she was headed now. 

A new driver met the interstate at night. Lila didn't even have a full license yet, just her permit. She took a deep breath, turning off the radio completely and fighting the tears welling in her eyes. They were going to be so pissed. They being everyone. Her mom, her dad, Coop, Nat... everyone. But she couldn't not do anything. The difference between a coward and hero was a choice and given how good shed gotten, she definitely had one now. 

 

Auntie Nat had sent these cryptic messages and her accounts had gotten disabled all at once and she needed to find her and free their dad as soon as possible. But finding her Aunt was never easy. Lila had learned a lot from her over the years. She taught her about firearms, encouraged her cheer and gymnastics training, and taught her to respect her body and to feed her mind all she could about everything and anything. It was like she knew before Lila did that she was like her father. But one thing Nat hadn't passed on was how to disappear down a rabbit hole and resurface a new person. 

 

Who knew what they were doing to her dad in in there? They called it The Raft. It was a prison in the middle of the ocean and what had happened at that airport between Cap and Tony and the Avengers was all over the news. She couldn't help but work out on her own that if Cap was willing to lay his life on the line for something, it was the right thing to do. Apparently she wasn't the only one. But doing what was right had consequences sometimes. Like being abandonned in a floating prison by people who used to consider you family.

 

Her mind started to race, as did the wheels beneath her. She took half of a dose of anxiety medication to try to ease it. What if they were torturing him?  What if her mom listened to her brother and left him? He'd never get custody. Not given his job. Nathaniel wouldn't know him, not in the way she did. She forced herself to breathe, clutching the steering wheel, and Clint's voice played in her head. Breathe in. Breathe out, honey. We'll do this together.

 

She forced herself to breathe in rhythm, clutching the steering wheel, taking a sharp turn off of an exit and keeping her eyes on the road and body as loose as she could.  She'd only been where she was headed once and she'd been blind folded then--but kind of like her dad, it didn't help much. She didn't have to see to know what direction she was moving in, and where she was headed and for how long. Her body was consistently taking in the information and calculating it, logging it, keeping records. It was part of what caused her anxiety, the inability to decide what sensory input was most important. 

 

It was a gift and a curse. 

 

She had done a lot of research and realized that the compound the new Avengers were trained in used to belong to Howard Stark as a warehouse for Stark Industries. She searched the round about direction and distance they'd traveled that day and applied the radius to a search for possible related information. It was more difficult to narrow down an address but judging by the map, by google images and by reading old collectible packing labels, she knew the general location even with rezoning and security measures.

 

First she needed to gather a better arsenal-- somethings in the compound having caught her eye. Then to set off the alarms to lure in Tony Stark and get the address of the prison from him in one way or another. He had it coming anyway after her father almost died during his Ultron disaster. Clint confided in her how badly he struggled with the guilt of surviving while Pietro didn't. It ate him up inside. She was pretty sure Stark wasn't aware. 

 

Then she needed to find Auntie Nat so they could rescue the prisoners. Nat would have the ability to obtain an aircraft, and pilot one given that she was clueless as far as that went, and relatively sure Stark wasn't going to help her past that if he heard her out. Besides, Auntie Nat always made her feel ten foot tall and bulletproof, something she was more than lacking at the moment. 

 

Pulling into a motel that was a reasonable hiking distance from the compound as she had calculated, she scanned the cameras and quickly identified a blind spot on the far end of the parking lot with no curb. The old vehicle certainly wouldn't make it over one,  so she'd scoped this place out specifically. Pulling off the asphault and into the dirt jostled her body and she felt like old spoons rattling in her chest. She pushed the spinning tires a bit farther than she should have, and finding traction on the newfound leaves, Lila was jolted forward in her seat as the front end smashed a tree trunk at about 15 mph.

 

Luckily she'd fastened her belt. But unluckily, her forhead had hit the steering wheel rather hard. Everything felt far away, looked dim, sounded faint as she lifted her head, looking around to be sure someone hadn't come to play hero. Her chest felt heavy, and in the vanity mirror, her forhead looked almost rug burned from the vinyl, lip swollen and split. 

 

Breathe in, honey. Breathe out. Do it with me, Lila. We'll get through this together.

 

"Dad?" she whimpered, swearing she could see him in the passenger's seat wearing the same outfit he did when he taught her to back up. She reached over but he dissipated like water vapor as she contacted the right depth. Head injury induced hallucination. Not cute. 

 

She had to get out of this car, and soon. Someone might notice and then she'd just be a deliquent, joy riding on Xanax. She pulled her bag from the back seat, tossed the door open, and slid it onto her back. Bending down she  smeared dirt over her face, across her freckles, and tugged her hood up over it all. She looked rough. No makeup. All in black. No one would recognize her from the photo her mother would use, she was relatively sure, even if they spotted her in the thinner part of the wooded area she was about to enter. 

 

If she cut north west through this patch of woods she'd be about five miles from the compound. Of course she was sure there'd be security measures but if she tripped them, she'd likely get to Stark before she was able to build up her arsenal and then she was sure not to win. She'd be just a kid with some hunting arrows on a compound bow against a mech suit. She didn't even have any Kevlar that fit. Her father's vest was currently tied close to her body beneath her jacket with parachord. But, though she was smaller and shorter, Wanda's shouldn't be too ill fitting. Stark would apprehend her quickly this way. Probably turn her in and claim all the glory of finding a wayward teen, too.

 

After a few miles, her brain tossing around all the horrible ways her Dad was being tortured, she stopped to rehydrate from her camel bag. Lila was out of the thinner part of the wood and deeper into coniferous trees now. She sat down for a moment. The teen left her personal phone at home because she wasn't a complete idiot, acquiring a burner about a month ago. She slid through the photos of Natasha's cryptic clues, not sure how to reach her directly still. Auntie Nat was deep under now. She'd sent a post card, and Lila had had the postage point tracked using various backdoor programs, hacking the federal mail system without a trace, narrowing it down to a set part of New York, one she didn't dare set foot in alone. Exchanging postcards was a way they communicated that they were alive at one point. Nameless "Wish you were here" messages eased her anxiety at some point in the past. Not now though. 

 

She had to keep moving so the creeping feeling of needing to turn back or call her mom would vanish in exertion.

 

Imagine it. "Hey mom, it's me. Yea, I'm good. Cars not really... my face hurts but I'm like an eighteenth of the way to getting Dad back so... don't pick up separation papers just yet. Ha ha. Just hiking through some woods at night, not sure why I didn't take the gun while I was at it. I think I hear a coyote. Wish you could see these stars. They're pretty brightout here, tonight. Wish you were here. I'm good." She laughed out loud at the idea, wrinkling her nose, before regaining her composition. It was about to be an extremely long night, considering she needed to hike straight through. Hopefully by the time she got close she could find a place to lay for a few hours, though she doubted sleep was in the forecast anyway, given her recent bought of insomnia.

 

Just Lila, her mind, and the wild animals in the woods. By the time she reached a mile outside of the compound, dawn's early light was peaking in the distance, casting a pink hue across the world around her. It faded to blood orange red, then the color of tangerines as she perched beside a tree and forced down a protein bar so she could take her medicines and not get violently ill. 

 

It seemed too easy.

 

Climbing the tree, she took to the sturdiest branches and climbed up as far as she could, searching for the high walls of the perimeter of the compound. And there they were. She took a deep breath, trying to see any complications on the wall itself, but she was too far away still. Time to finish this hike and start onto hacking a genius' security measures. And hopefully she'd get her Dad back. 


	7. Initiative -- Part Two

It was bigger than a city block, the wall structure around the buildings. There was not much cover the closer she got, which worried Lila. She knew there were at least measures taken to prevent images of the building surfacing, so why not assume security measures were tight as well. She'd met Nick Fury once or twice and if Stark was anything like him...

 

She thought about sending an arrow over the wall to check for forcefields or alarms to trigger, but if there was surveillance, an arrow would stick out like a sore thumb. Her head was pounding now, her stomach queasy, her thoughts fuzzy. Probably had a concussion from hitting the steering wheel like that. Lila took a deep breath, venturing closer, staying low, and decided to do what a kid who didn't have a weapon would do.  

 

She threw a rock over the wall.

 

Crotched beside the cinderblocks, she rested, listening for anything. She half expected a deafening screech of an alarm when the rock made it over, but there was nothing. Breathe in, breathe out. Good job, honeybee. She leaned against the smooth rocky face, the damp chill feeling great on the swelling from her injuries, and let her eyes drift shut a moment. 

 

When nothing happened after about five excruciating minutes where she could have fell asleep inopportunely, the brunette forced herself to stand, rubbing her eyes, filling her lungs. There was no footing in the structure, so climbing wasn't going to be a cinche. She'd thought it'd be like this. Sitting her sack down in front of her, Lila rummaged for the makeshift grappling hood she had constructed during planning, double checking the knots to be sure they were tight. She stepped back several feet.

 

It wasn't as easy as television made it look. James Bond must've been a pro. For over an hour she tried to hook the wall before she was successful. And her first hook wasn't sturdy enough to climb up, so she had to hook it twice before the rope was taught enough. But nearly two hours later, a sweat covered sixteen year old with a bag on her back and a coating of dirt across her face sat on top of the wall, staring at a ghost town version of Avengers Headquarters and all of the associated buildings without much resistance.

 

Lila hooked the hook into the other side of the massively thick wall, letting the rope dangle and once her arms stopped trembling, she started to hoist herself down.  Thankfully, she was a cheerleader. Thankfully, she only had to climb down about half of the way. She knew how to fall without hurting herself, which was one of the biggest assets most cheer squad girls acquired although they'd never know.

 

Only visiting once, it wasn't like she'd been inside of every building on premise and they didn't hand you a labeled map like an amusement park when you entered, but Lila knew where the Armory and Training building was since she'd observed her father at work. And it was, by sheer luck because she literally had no idea where she was coming over the wall at, that she was really close. The courtyard was empty. There was no steady glow like there had been on her first visit. Everything seemed lackluster.

 

She hadn't expected a locked door, a card reader blinking in her face as she grimaced at her own stupidity. There were ways to trick machines, but she didn't want to risk drawing attention so there had to be another way.  Circling the building, she couldn't remember a single window that wasn't on the roof from her first visit. But that meant the place had to have ventilation from somewhere right?

 

Casting her eyes down this time, she circled again, spotting the air shaft close to the ground. Lila gave a sigh and sat beside it a moment, washing down another quarter of an anxiety pill with water before digging for her screw driver. She was about to get really nervous.

 

Removing the grate, she stripped a screw and for whatever reason the guilt of breaking something that wasn't her's started to eat at her inside the vent. As it got tighter around her, she fought to keep her breathing steady and body moving forward. Tight, enclosed spaces weren't a forté. They weren't as bad as other things, but she'd heard so many stories about air vents that she couldn't force away from front and center.

 

The most prevalent one was of the guy who got stuck in one and died trying to rob the Chinese Restaurant in town. He got stuck in the vents and suffocated. The whole school joked that that was where they got their chicken and pork for weeks but Lila didn't laugh. Not once. Suffocating was scary. 

 

At the first drop down, she took leave and kicked out the grate on the other side, shimmying out from about five feet which in retrospect was not very high. She was in the first aid room. It dawned on her, as she wandered toward the door and then into the hallway, that she could trip an alarm at any time, including now, and that she should be more careful. She also wondered about F.R.I.D.A.Y., and if the AI knew she was here and had tattled already, and her pace sped up.

 

Beyond the snack area and bathrooms and a meeting room with an observation window, the Armory and Training Facility was an open floor plan. Breaking the lock on the auditorium style door was easy. It reminded her of the time Coop taught her how to break into the gymnasium at school. It wasn't long after that she'd attached a new quiver to her body, loaded with special arrows. She'd acquired a handgun as well. Three full magazines. And Wanda's Kevlar. 

 

Out of the building was easier. The locks offered no resistance. She jarred the door with a stick just in case she needed to get back in without becoming Chinese Food before dashing off toward the building that functioned as a living area.

 

It was almost like someone knew she was coming. It was too easy. It felt wrong. Something wasn't right. She got that it wasn't mapped or charted and that the location was nearly impossible to find unless you had enhanced spacial perception and had been before. But why weren't alarms sounding and booby traps catching her by the ankle. She just broke into the damn Armory. Lila sat against the building, steadying her breathing again. She was going to go in, gun drawn, and demand help or trigger alarms to bring Tony to her. If there were any.

 

What if there weren't.

 

Her stomach dropped. Oh. She hadn't imagined there WOULDN'T be. What if there weren't and she had to go it alone to get Nat? She'd have to steal a car then. Drive through the worst bits of New York. Her chest started to clench and her blood started vibrating and she abruptly stood up and shoved open the glass door with her hip, fight or flight kicking in hard.

 

She searched like she saw people on CSI do, sticking close against the walls, both hands holding the Smith and Wesson M&P pointed toward the ground. She faintly remembered Natasha teaching her this technique before she heard the voices.

 

"I swear you're going to walk again if it's the last thing I do..."

 

"Tony, listen-"

 

"Rhodey... let me just tweak..."

 

Lila gave a small sigh and rounded the corner, gun drawn. She still didn't have her finger on the trigger.  She actually didn't plan on shooting anyone unless she had to.  She met War Machine in a wheel chair though as she did, hazel eyes popping wide open. 

 

"TONY!" She heard him through her frantic breathing. "Put the gun down. Put the gun down," he started calmly. "Miss, you don't have to do this. You can put it down and everything will be alright. I'll help you if you want..."

 

 Rhodey's voice was soothing, his eyes wise and empathetic. Her own got warm, started to water and her vision blurred as they filled on top of the lens. Her hands were shaking when Tomy entered the hall, hands up. "I c-c-can't," she whimpered. "If I drop it Nat s-s-said it might go off," she felt herself start to hyperventilate. This was not cute at all.

 

"You know Natasha?" James' brows raised. "How?"

 

Tony finally spoke from behind him. "Lila... hey... just put the gun down and let's talk about this, okay? You don't really want to shoot me or Rhodey, right?" He edged closer, stepping in front of the other man. "I know you're probably pissed, kiddo. You have every right to be..."

 

"Tony, who is she? " asked Rhodey.

 

"Barton's daughter. Little agent. From the Family Fun Farm I never told you about since it was classified," Tony said quickly. "I'll explain later."

 

"Barton has a kid?"

 

"Three, actually." Tony swallowed. "Lila... put the gun down, please. I'm unarmed. I'm not going to touch you, or hurt you, or- how did you even get here?"

 

Lila let out a choking whimper and closed her eyes. "You almost killed my dad with your stupid robot death machine and now your decisions got him locked up and Nate is never going to know him and my mom's gone crazy and wants to leave him," she breathed through gritted teeth. "I need your help to put it right. I need my Aunt back."

 

"Her Aunt?" Rhodey enquired.

 

"I know. I know." Tony edged closer again, watching the teenager's hazel eyes pop back open. "You look like you've been through the ringer. Let's get the gun down so you can get cleaned up. And then we can talk," he said gently, hands still up, his dark eyes locked on her's. "Can you point it at the ground for me?"

 

Lila gave a choking little cough and slowly lowered her trembling grip, holding it tightly. And she thought about turning it on herself for a split second. Coward. She was a coward. She was never getting her dad back. And she was suddenly aware of all of the hurt she'd been walling up inside of herself for the past six years. 

 

"Good girl. Good girl. I'm going to come close to you and press the mag release, okay? Then I'm going to need you to pull the hammer," he paused, "you know what the hammer is right? "

 

"I'm not an idiot!" she half growled. "If I didn't know how to use a gun I wouldn't have taken one." She swallowed. 

 

"Okay, okay. Good. You're going to pull back the hammer and let what's in the chamber drop out, and then you can give it to me. It won't be loaded. I'll put it on the ground. And we can talk about finding Natasha," he softly touched her left shoulder, now on her flank. Tony was shaky, but he tried to stay sturdy, feeling Clint's daughter lean against him. "You doing okay? Is this okay?" he asked.

 

Lila nodded, giving a little squeak. The tears wouldn't stop and she couldn't see.  "Yes," she choked. "Please don't call my mom," she pleaded.

 

"I won't. I won't. But we have to trust each other, okay?" Slowly he reached over, his tone low and calming. "It's all going to be okay. Your lip is bleeding, and your forhead is messed up. How'd that happen?" He asked, his hand contacting the grip now. Her's were freezing. He gave a shiver. "We'll get you some clean clothes, a shower maybe..." he slowly pressed the mag release button and the magazine dislodged and gravity brought it into his other hand. He was behind her now, though there was a bag between them, and a quiver of his inventive arrows. "Are you an archer, too?" He asked.

 

Lila quickly pulled the hammer back. She watched the bullet fly toward her from the back, heard the cling of metal on the tile, and then pressed the gun into Tony's hand. But she didn't move away. She imagined him holding it to her head, the click as the magazine locked into place, nothingness. She could succumb to that. The tears started to flow more freely and her knees buckled. 

 

Tony tossed the gun to Rhodey, having shoved the magazine into his pocket already,  in just enough time to wrap an arm around her. "Shhh. Hey. It's over. You didn't shoot anyone. And you're okay," he said gently. "Let's go talk about this, okay?" 

 

Lila nodded, trying to pull herself together. She imagined Nate waking up to find her gone and bit her lower lip hard. She needed to get back to him as soon as possible and in order to do that, she had to keep it together. Slowly she straightened up and filled her lungs.

 

"Breathe in..." Tony whispered. "Breathe out..." he sighed. "Breathe in," he instructed. "Breathe out." He knew the feeling. Everything was crashing down on her now that she realized the true scale of her decisions. And he understood all too well. "Good job. Oxygen is good for you," he joked, with a half smirk.

 

Lila stood up again, trying to center herself, holding her sides together so she didn't shred in half like ripped paper. "Do you want my bow too?" She asked, clearing her throat and shifting forward. 

 

"No," Tony said softly. "Not yet, anyway." He was sure she could stand on her own now, so he stepped back. 

 

Rhodey just watched the exchange with a raised brow. "When did Hawkeye get some kids, Tony?"

 

"Eighteen years ago," Lila answered. "Fury hid us." She stepped forward, taking another anxiety pill from her pocket. She took the whole thing this time. 

 

James nodded. "That was good of him, I guess," he responded. 

 

"I stole the car. It's my car. But I'm on my permit," she babbled, looking between the two men. "I came and visited a few years ago, remember?" She asked Tony. 

 

Tony nodded. "I do. You and I split the biggest pizza I've ever had," he answered. He started to steer her into the room he'd just exited, and walked to the small kitchenette. He pulled out a wash clothe and cut off the tag, wetting it in the sink. 

 

Lila took off her bag and her jacket, her arms way cleaner than her hands and face. She let out a shaky breath and paced a little. "I'm a lot like... him." She felt like a brat from how often she'd said 'my dad' already. "I may have been blindfolded but my body was still aware what direction I was moving in and how fast. I created a ten mile radius on a map from where we were and started to narrow it down. Did you know that Stark Industries' old packing slips are going on ebay for like... the price of a used car?" she blinked up.

 

"No." He smirked, holding out the clothe to her. Slowly she started to clean off her injuries. "Where's your car?" he asked, sitting down in a nearby chair. Rhodey had wheeled into the room and was listening intently. 

 

"I parked at the motel south east from here," she answered. "By parked I mean I pulled into the bushed to try and buy time and hit a tree." She took a deep breath. "I'm not a bad driver, just couldn't see with all the bush in the way," she doubled back. "I hiked through the woods to get here."

 

Tony swallowed. "That's some head injury, kid. You should get it checked out... your lip looks pretty bad too." He watched her cautiously. "So why did you come here?" 

 

"I need your help," she said softly. "I imagined you to be... mmmm. Less nice about it," she answered. 

 

Tony nodded. "I get that a lot nowadays." He grumbled it. 

 

"Yea, well. I'm sorry," she said, taking a seat across from him and wincing as she dabbed her lip. "I hacked USPS as best as I could. Aunt Nat sent me a postcard. I know it was her since Dad is... not sending postcards from prison." Lila took a little breath. "It's code we have for I'm okay. It used to help with the rampantly crippling anxiety disorder when I was younger. Nameless postcards."

 

"You did what?" Tony asked, wide eyed, leaning forward.

 

"I hacked into the postal service using a back door operation and got as far as I could without embedding anything," she rambled. "It's not that important, really. How I got the information I-"

 

"That's a felony or five," Tony chided.

 

"Oh, I was completely unaware," she mocked. 

 

"Your house is getting raided," he tilted his head.

 

"Do you really think I'm an idiot? I didn't do it from home.  I scoped out the library. I figured out which computers are in blind spots and created shadow and was sneaky about it. I waited for someone to leave their library account logged in and did it there..." she snorted. 

 

Tony blinked at her, sitting up straighter. "Did you use a mirror?" 

 

"Yea. Reflected the IP to Oregon. Not that it's fool proof." She shifted, feeling the familiar disconnect of medication. "She's in Chinatown. But going there alone would be pretty dangerous. And I can't really go knocking door to door with a bow," Lila said. "I need surveillance hacked to get an address. And I can't do that alone, " she added. 

 

"Say I help. We find Nat. I help you get her to come out... how does that play into the big picture here? " he asked, raising a brow. 

 

"I need an aircraft and a pilot. There are two things she hasn't taught me yet that I know are on her list. How to fly. And how to disappear." Lila started to undo her braid with now relatively clean hands. 

 

"I can pilot one," Tony said. "Rhodey knows how, too."

 

Lila nodded. "Yea? And?"

 

"Why not us," Tony asked, tilting his head.

 

"I don't trust you with my life." That was the answer, finality to it. It was not negotiable. 


End file.
